I flew to Baltimore last week, the weather was beautiful and the pilot treated us to a perfect bank over Baltimore harbor. Behind me sat three teenage girls. I knew they were teenagers because they talked nonstop throughout our flight, through the movie, the safety orientation and all the announcements. It must be tough to be deprived of your cell phone for so long. Anyway, one girl looks down at the harbor and squeals, “Look, a lake!” There was a tanker and two container ships headed out to the Chesapeake Bay, and it is a rare lake that can support those sorts of vessels. The pilot cruised farther east and turned over the bay for his approach into BWI. The next girl says, “See, I told you Baltimore was on the ocean.” I thought about asking what high school the girls attended, so I could call their school board and suggest they just close the place now, don’t try to fix anything, just shut it down. We landed, disembarked and I forgot all about the teens. On my way to collect my luggage, I stopped in the restroom. The three girls had beaten me there. As I utilized a stall down the row from them, one girl announced she had shut herself in her stall and couldn’t get out. I looked at the lock in front of me. It was a straightforward slide button. As I exited my stall, I saw the other two girls huddled on the corridor side of the trapped teen’s stall giving her advice. If it takes three American high schoolers to get out of a toilet stall, how many does it talk to operate a voting machine? They had not solved the problem by the time I washed my hands and left the restroom. Our civilization is at an end.
